Edward Thornton

Contact the author at ethornton24@andover.edu.

Articles by this author

Phillipian Satire: Mama Putina Tells Us About Vladimir Putin’s Childhood

Phillipian Satire: Update on Senior’s Non-profit for at Risk Youth

Phillipian Satire: Leaked College Essay From a JV Lacrosse Player

Phillipian Satire: How to Care for a Loved One Who Tested Positive for COVID-19

Phillipian Satire: Goldman Sachs Analyst Charles Phillip Leopold IV ’14 Impresses with Limitless Energy, Undeniable Passion, and Astounding Attention to Detail

Phillipian Satire: Letter of Acceptance for Class of 2026

The Long-Lost Proposal For The Finals Week We Should Have Had

Phillipian Satire: Eighth Page History: Origin of Valentine’s Ned Thornton Day

Phillipian Satire: How to Celebrate Head of School Day

Phillipian Satire: A Message on Behalf of the Andover Disciplinary Counsel to Drake

Phillipian Satire: How Do I Tell My Sheeple Roommate That I am Standing Against The Microchip Shot??

Phillipian Satire: Deans Resolutions

Phillipian Satire: EXETER Architectural Digest

Phillipian Satire: REAL TIPS on How to Prepare for Your Exeter Admissions Interview

Phillipian Satire: Bullying the Football Team

Phillipian Satire: Ultimate Week Ultimatum: Amid the Stress of Doing Their Jobs, Teachers Demand Faculty-Only Spa

Phillipian Satire: Ghosts with Juuls

Phillipian Satire: More Signatures Required by Your Beloved Deans

Phillipian Satire: Leaked Diary Entry of an Eager Freshman

Phillipian Satire: Will This Freshman’s Perfect March Madness Bracket Save Him From Bullying?

What Andover Can Learn from the Ivy League’s Mistakes

Phillipian Satire: An Eighth Page Salute To Our Favorite U.S. Presidents

Phillipian Satire: Your Favorite Players From Your Favorite Teams’… Siblings