The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“Oh, goody! A seat open in Silent.”

“Next happy couple I see is getting body-slammed.”

“That NYE dance was hella lit yo!”

“Do you think they’ll have largemouth at the Bassment?”

“Yeah, my mom is pissed. She is making me fly commercial.”

“We lounge on the lawn to show the lower class that we rule over them.”

“Is she the one that looks like Quagmire?”

“Thank God. If there’s one thing this school needs, it’s more activism.”

“Yeah, I’ve been meaning to tell you, I H.A.V.E. herpes.”

“He buggin’ not thuggin’.”

“This is NOT the type of stuff I have been on as of late.”

“Iowa Caucus? To whom?”