With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, a shower of love has descended upon us. As the aisles of CVS become filled with heart-shaped chocolates and teddy bears adorned with pink and red ribbons, we may feel a variety of emotions: anticipation, excitement, dread, loneliness, or perhaps even indifference. Whether you’re in a committed relationship, single, or somewhere in between, Valentine’s Day serves as an opportunity for us to reflect on and celebrate the many ways in which love touches our lives here at Andover.
Broadly originating from a Christian feast day dedicated to the martyr Saint Valentine, Valentine’s Day does not actually have one specific story or meaning attached to it. However, over the centuries, the holiday has largely been distilled into a celebration of romantic love, with red roses, hearts, doves, and Cupid emerging as popular symbols. From adorable handmade gifts to fancy candlelit dinners, Valentine’s Day gives couples a special chance to express their affection for their significant other with their own personal touch. Because the day is specifically intended to celebrate love, couples can feel free to be as grand and extravagant with their gestures as they’d like without fear of judgment. Appreciation and sappiness that would normally be considered “too much” is instead normalized, creating an open environment where love and genuine adoration for one another’s presence can flourish.
However, the trend towards gift-giving has, in some cases, turned Valentine’s Day towards commercialism, with an emphasis on the exchange of some sort of gift, whether it be a necklace, a bouquet of flowers, a stuffed teddy bear with a heart, or something else. Although taking Valentine’s Day as a chance to give your significant other a special token to celebrate can be a special gift, it should not become an expectation. Rather than viewing the holiday through a materialistic or obligatory lens, we can embrace the spirit of Non Sibi in thinking of Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to show love purely for the sake of love. Celebrations of love are about giving, about appreciating those around us and ourselves, and should not include the expectation of receiving something in return.
Moreover, the emphasis on romantic love that is typically associated with Valentine’s Day can also be unintentionally exclusive. According to the 2023 State of the Academy (SOTA), 51.8 percent of the Andover student body is either currently in a committed relationship or has been in one in the past. Though Valentine’s Day lends itself as a perfect space for those relationships to be cherished and celebrated, it can also evoke sensations of self-consciousness in the remaining half of students, who may feel as if their single status is preventing them from fully participating in a holiday. While couples are exchanging cute presents and spending quality time with each other, other students may not necessarily have someone to engage in these activities with, even though they wish to. But let us remember that Valentine’s Day was never deemed to be solely a celebration of romantic love — love is an abstract concept, and comes in many different forms. Just because Valentine’s Day has traditionally centered around romantic love does not mean we cannot expand the narrative to be more inclusive here at Andover. All of us, regardless of whether we are in a relationship or not, should be able to take February 14 as an opportunity to appreciate and recognize the many different types of love in our lives — the love we share with our friends, family, and, perhaps most importantly, ourselves.
So this year, treat Valentine’s Day as an open-ended invitation to celebrate love in whatever forms you might find it in your life: romantic, platonic, familial, and more. Take your significant other out to dinner. Give them a beautiful bouquet of freshly-picked roses. Watch a horror movie with your friends and scream at all the jumpscares together. Or choose a rom-com and swoon at all the terribly-scripted confession scenes. Call your mother and tell her how much she means to you. Mail a letter to your sibling at college (yes, an old-fashioned letter, handwritten and all). Spend some time to yourself, binge-watching that TV show you’ve been too busy to start. Buy a piece of crepe cake from that bakery you love and treat yourself to some cookies while you’re at it, too. The point is: nothing is off-limits, as long as it’s rooted in love.
