The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Everything We Can Learn In These Two Weeks

Who are the hottest World Cup soccer players
The rigor of Photomath
What the edge looks like
How to say “goal” in Spanish
Where to find the syllabus on the Canvas page
Which Sykes nurse makes the best ice water
How many times socks can be reworn
Mr. Shows’s limits
Another reason to transfer
Where the clit is (no wait, this requires more than two weeks for some)
How many minutes you can cut class before getting a tardy
The devastating effects of climate change on the town of Andover’s winter aesthetic