The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Now That Holy Week Is Over, Satanic Worship Club Is Back in Session with Guest Speaker Lil Nas X
Upper Bribing Freshmen to Nominate Them For The Lorant Fellowship Deemed Least Earnest Endeavor
Delivery Man Who Got Lost Trying to Find Bancroft Actually Is Named Dean of Studies After Wandering Around for So Long
Students Pay So Little Attention to Daily Covid Screenings That “What Is Your Social Security Number” Question Answered by Every Student Without Question
Ear Pieces Worn By Teachers in HyFlex Classes Fulfill Their Lifelong Spy Dreams
With Recent Covid-19 Spike on Campus, Dr. Kington Continues to Not Interact with Student Body