The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Searching for a New Head of School   

Proven to Be Cause of Wifi Slow-Down.

New Poll Reveals Students Want a Campus Chinchilla

Board of Trustees “Took Out Their Checkbooks” and Finally Bought us an Aquarium

Mouse from Double Brick Trial Let Out On Million-Dollar Bail

In Attempt to Find New Cause to Lobby For, Lower Girl Takes Offense at Commons’s Lack of Almond Butter