The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Sykes’ Fun Alternatives To Condoms

–A good relationship with your father.

–Describing yourself as “quirky.”

–Latex paint.

–An engaging personality.

–Don’t not not write for The Eighth Page.

–Spindly, translucent legs.

–A killer Borat impression, used liberally.

–Weird hats.

–An “off-putting” voice.