The Eighth Page

Eat a Pita, Peeta!

Features: So, Pita and Peeta. We have to say, you two sure make one interesting duo! The baker’s boy and the pastry… it, much like Angels and Angel cake or Milk and Cookies, is a clearly a match made in heaven.

Pita: Thanks for the support, Features, it means a lot. That being said, I’m actually not exactly a pastry.

Features: Of course, of course, my mistake. What made you two want to run together?

Pita: Well, Peeta and I are actually quite close. We’re like two chickpeas in a pod!

Features: Totally understandable. Peeta, what qualifies you to become president?

Peeta: Well, you may not know this, but I star in a pretty popular book series called “The Hungry Games.” It’s essentially the story of 24 cupcakes, one cinnamon flavored and one primrose flavored, each pair representing of the 12 district bakeries. They go to an elaborately prepared Iron Chef superdome to determine which cupcake is the most tasty. Spoiler alert: two of the cupcakes fall in love! Ahhhhhhh. It’s truly a riveting tale. You readers should buy it.

Features: But—

Peeta: And no, before you ask, we are not using our campaign as an advertising campaign. That would be wrong.

Features: I see. Well. Sounds titillating! Pita, what was your take on “The Hungry Games?” Was your support of Peeta conflicted with your own personal defensiveness, reading a story about cooking some cookies of your kind?

Pita: Just to be clear, I’m neither a cookie nor a pastry.

Features: Of course.

Pita: I mean, I obviously sided with Peeta. Like I said, we go way back. Peeta was there when I met my girlfriend, Hum Mus, for the first time. That kind of friendship doesn’t get stale

Features: Right. Best of luck in the campaign!