The term “Prom” comes from the Latin root “Promenus,” which means “Night of Dancing, Fruit Punch and Ugly People Looking Semi-Respectable Thanks to Their Nice Clothes.” Scientists have never found traces of the first prom ever. However, they have significant reason to believe that it did, in fact, exist. In 2008, zero great white sharks attended prom. This number is not expected to fluctuate in 2009. A recent study indicates that ugly people often go to prom with fellow ugly people. In prehistoric times, “eating your prom date” had a much more literal meaning than it does today. Going to prom under the influence of alcohol is often referred to as “Bombed Prom.” Spelled backwards, “prom” is “morp.” When grown men go to prom, it’s called “pedophilia.” In Antarctica, there are no proms. Although most inhabitants wear tuxedos. Notable celebrities who went to prom with their cousins: Alex Trebek, Dick Cheney, Carrot Top and the fat red-haired kid from “Sandlot.” The neon tuxedo industry receives the majority of their business either from people who think they’re ironic by imitating Jim Carrey in “Dumb and Dumber” or from idiots. More often than not, these people are one in the same. According to some observations, canes are very rarely used during a promenade for medical purposes. The Great Prom Strike of 1956 did not exist. Prom is gay when no girls go.
