After looking back on the holiday season, I thought about some of the Christmas carols and other holiday songs that come with it, and I couldn’t help but wonder: what is the true meaning of some of these songs? So, this year I decided to delve into the wonders of holiday music, only to find some very peculiar subliminal messages. I realized many of the most well known carols are brainwashing society with radical ideas and violent thoughts. The carols that really stood out were Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer, Santa’s Elves, and Santa Claus is Coming to Town. First off, Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer is a well-known carol, sung by and listened to by our nation’s youth. This is a serious problem, considering Rudolph is a clear figure developed as propaganda of communism. Let’s be honest, a glowing red light that saves Christmas might as well be, oh, I don’t know, perhaps a communist dictator pulling Santa’s sleigh. That red communist flag might as well be hanging out of Rudolph’s caboose. Rudolph is an outcast, just like the idea of communism was originally, until they needed him (or it) to save the day. And isn’t it convenient that Rudolph comes out in cold weather, and Communism caused the Cold War? Yeah. I bet you didn’t think of that while hanging up your stocking, comrade. Rudolph was only temporarily needed, but he sticks around forever. Is this because the other reindeer like him, or is it because Rudolph is going to abuse them with his power if they tell him to leave? I think the latter. Rudolph will certainly go down in history, but as the communist dictator that ruined Christmas. Rudolph, seemingly an inconspicuous Christmas reindeer, is truly a symbol that all good things can be ruined by communism. Now, Santa’s Elves is an entirely different story. The elves are a mass ive group of beings, forced to work without pay in harsh, cold conditions just because of the pointiness of their ears. Let me put it this way: Abraham Lincoln would not be pleased. Just think about it: Santa has elves to merely make a quota that he is forced to meet every year. It’s not like these elves get to enjoy delicious cookies in a tree or a starring in a Will Ferrell movie. Finally, the most obvious problem with Christmas carols: Santa. Santa is a flat out thief. Santa is a fat old man who sneaks into your house. Come on, it couldn’t be more obvious. He sneaks into your house once a year and leaves toys. No, don’t tell me that you haven’t ever been missing a couple of dollars here and there after Christmas. Santa sneaks down your chimney, distracts you with gifts, and then steals right under your nose while your sleeping. Christmas carols, while they seem to be harmless merriment, are the real problem of today’s society. Not terrorism or Wal-Mart or politicians. Christmas carols. It is no wonder children are growing up to become thieves, rapists or even communist radicals when they listen to these carols for a month during the holidays. Christmas carols have brainwashed society, and should be banned forever. Along with the forced servitude of the elvish population.
