As a child, I found joy through playdates with my friends at the park. Then, I became addicted to Shopkins and Barbies. Now, my happiness comes from texting my friends on social media and watching TikToks on an hourly basis. For others, happiness sparks from playing a sport or pursuing an interest. Everyone finds happiness in their unique ways, and many different aspects of life can elicit positive emotions. There’s no doubt that the pursuit of happiness is universal because of its physiological and mental benefits, but it also has a dark side that is rarely mentioned despite being quite prevalent in our community.
I had an amazing childhood that thoroughly exposed me to feelings of pure joy. Pure joy is the state of happiness untainted by worries and fear. Inevitably, I became well-acquainted with the sensation. But as I grew older and busier, I began to long for it more and more. I no longer felt the same all-encompassing lightheartedness as all the responsibilities of a young adult overwhelmed me. The critical role of pure joy in our well-being suggests that moments of intense happiness contribute significantly to our overall satisfaction and dramatically impact our lives at Andover.
The science behind happiness may seem very simple because it is an emotion everyone experiences, but there are still nuances to consider. Happiness is usually split into two main theories: hedonism and desire. Hedonism is by far the most common. By the name, I am sure anyone can connect it to the dictionary meaning of self-indulgence. Sure enough, it is the rawest form of happiness, where there’s pure pleasure and minimal pain. For example, the Netflix movies you watch that make you laugh hysterically are caused by the hedonism theory — you are actively pursuing genuine pleasure. This type of happiness is something everyone at Andover should experience. We are all blinded by a never-ending stream of tests and assignments, the fear of getting anything less than a 6, and extracurricular activities that jampack our schedules. Constant schoolwork hinders us from noticing the joy in our experiences. Instead of pursuing success and perfection, we should also take a step back and acknowledge the efforts we have put in so far. Even though it is difficult to stop worrying about all our academic and athletic commitments entirely, we should also make sure to find enjoyment in them.
The other half of happiness, desire, is mostly self-centered. This theory suggests that getting what you want is the most important contributor to your happiness and that the fulfillment of your desires will lead to happiness, regardless of the actual pleasure gained. Unlike hedonism, where you pursue pleasure in the process, desire tends to focus more on the outcome rather than the journey there.
In reality, the desire theory of happiness is usually what high schoolers experience. In our eyes, grades, sports, and all the other activities we do to get into an Ivy League are all that matters. Little do we realize that it’s not the endless hours in the Garver Room that will help us achieve those goals. This includes preparing for major tests and finishing all our homework. We also often have commitments outside of school that add on to all the schoolwork we need to finish. In the end, we will be faced with an endless pile of papers and assignments. For example, I used to believe, if I studied non-stop, then I would get a 6 for everything. If I ignored all social events and went golfing instead, I thought I’d be ahead of my peers, but that wasn’t the case. I quickly got burnt out during finals week. Now, I’ve learned to change my perspective: my peers are my supporters, not my competitors. As we all know, if we don’t enjoy doing something, then the result will be very poor. It is better to do nothing than do something that you absolutely detest. Forcing yourself to do something is never the solution. That is just cheating the desire theory of happiness because of the relief you feel once you’ve finished. However, you’ve just merely wasted your time. We should always avoid the desire theory of happiness as much as possible and strive to achieve the hedonism of happiness. When in doubt, always seek pleasure over forced happiness.
There’s always a downside to everything, even happiness. While the pursuit of happiness is a noble and universal endeavor, it’s crucial to acknowledge and understand its potential pitfalls. Over time, it’s natural to get used to the spectacular feelings of pure joy, but it can also become an obsession. Constantly pushing aside feelings of sadness, anger, or fear to find the feeling of “happiness” can lead to a diminished capacity to recognize and understand these emotions. Emotional numbing restricts our ability to navigate complex emotional situations and respond appropriately to life’s challenges. Ignored or suppressed emotions don’t simply disappear; they accumulate over time. This buildup can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and depression. Moreover, it can erupt unpredictably, causing disproportionate reactions from the most minor triggers. Therefore, longing for happiness unexpectedly produces the opposite side effects from what we aimed for in the beginning.
When in doubt, it’s better to feel nothing than to feel a volcano of anger, stress, and sadness. Happiness will come naturally as we journey through life. We will go through some struggling times that make us doubt if we made the right choice but as we overcome these processes, this is where the pure emotion of happiness will kick in. Instead of seeking happiness, we should indulge in it and try to make the best out of tough times. Then, happiness will come naturally to us.
