The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Our Good Friday Festivities

(absences = excused )

†Engaged in international human rights violations

†Added not one, but two Nickelback songs to our Spotify playlist

†Observed Passover

†Achieved pure mediocrity

†Ate an entire muttonchop, extra meat

†Sat inside with the shades drawn, hiding, on the one day a year Jesus can’t protect us

†Wore white jeans before Memorial Day

†Asked someone about college

†Openly contemplated sex before marriage