The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Thomas And The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

(Editor’s note: This is a true story. All of this happened.)

Chapter 1:

From the moment I woke up on Saturday, things did not go my way.

As soon as I walk into commons to grab breakfast, I start feeling a spreading warmth in my pocket. I look down to see smoke billowing out and a pocket on fire. I threw my iPhone on the floor as quickly as I could before I was burnt seriously. The phone would not stop burning. The acrid stench of burning plastic and metal filled my lungs as I tried to get away. After several minutes, all that was left was a half-melted case surrounding a charred shadow of what my phone once was. My bad luck did not end there.

Chapter 2:

To cap off an already awful start to my week, Monday rolled around. While Mondays in general are bad, this Monday may go down as one of the worst. I was actually having a good day until my Animal Behavior class rolled around. Then, my week went from bad to worse. Walking to go feed my chick, another chicken ran under my foot, and you can guess what happened there. Not knowing what to do, I (and the rest of my class) just stared blank-faced until our teacher let us out of class.

While my week went on relatively uneventful, I have those two events to prompt hope for better weeks to come.

The End. Love, Thomas.