The Eighth Page

Revisit Student Gets So Excited About Andover That He Decides To Come

As many Andover students may know, revisit days can be exciting. It’s a time for prospective students to get to know what could be their new home, and possibly who they will be spending the next four years of their life with. Lately, these students have been flocking to the Andover campus. Some have an easier time socializing with their future classmates than others. One student, Dudley Turtlebottom appeared at first to be a quiet, reserved and scholarly individual. He kept to himself most of the time and didn’t seem like he had much to say. He went through his first period, class without uttering a word. On his way to his second period class some students noticed a faint twinkle in his eye, and they knew that he was never going to be the same again; a new Dudley was thinking he just might come. The young lad who had respectfully endured his first period, class would no longer stand idly by as intellectuals engaged in conversation around him. As he sat through math class, he felt the uncontrollable urge to raise his hand and obnoxiously answer every question the teacher asked, making the rest of the class look bad. To their surprise, he got all the questions right and some of the formerly annoyed students expressed sincere adulation. During conference period, Dudley got a little carried away and begged his revisit guide to take him downtown to buy his textbooks for next year despite the fact that he had not yet enrolled. His revisit host begrudgingly agreed only if Dudley promised that he would come for sure. On the way back up, he swung by CVS to pick up the essentials: Kleenex, Tums, some Lubriderm and oodles of Scooby Snacks. For fourth period lunch, Dudley ditched his revisit and sat in Lower Right of Paresky Commons at what he later found was the “PG Table.” Little did he know, he was in for a very special surprise: the Blue Key Head auditions. After listening to the insightful ponderings of the PGs and watching Appleson Badman’s BKH audition, he got so excited that he decided he had to come. Dudley soon began his campaign for both of the Co-Presidential positions and created a brand new secret society. Features doesn’t know the name of this society because it’s secret. News of Dudley’s rapid rise to popularity spread quickly through the grapevine, and with the help of his Vine account. Countless rumors were started about this dashing newcomer. Some say he was raised by wolves in Alaska and his peach fuzz mustache alone has experienced more than most people do in their lifetime. Once he tried to get rejected by a girl just to know what it feels like. At the end of Dudley’s revisit day a teacher asked him how he liked his day at Andover to which he quite majestically replied, “Boy, I wish I could just come here right now, but I don’t want the great feeling of finally coming to pass too quickly.”