The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Texts you wouldn’t want to wake up to.

10. Hey, I hope you don’t mind but I let some ducks into your room. Careful, they’re territorial.

9. Did you get rid of the lice in your bed yet?

8. Got rid of the body.

7. Couldn’t get rid of the body.

6. I can’t believe you swallowed it whole!

5. Arts is now 2 pages! Oh, and the results came back positive…

4. Don’t worry, I didn’t tell the police anything.

3. Is it okay if I borrow your car? If you don’t respond in five minutes I’m just gonna take it.

2. Get out, there’s a fire!

1. Features no longer requires your services.