The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Reasons Your Girlfriend Left You

10. Apparently just dancing with her at a dance doesn’t make her your girlfriend.

9. Guess she didn’t appreciate the Pokémon themed birthday party as much as you thought she would.

8. She didn’t like your “Jessica” tattoo, especially because her name is Tasapolos.

7. Your disregard for the restraining order.

6. Not enough cuddling.

5. Too much cuddling.

4. She saw your diary.

3. She found your pHarmony account.

2. I mean maybe changing your name to hers to show your commitment was a little much.

1. For a Features writer.