What Doesn’t Kill You

At a time when Seniors are starting to hear back from colleges, and the rest of us are hearing back from summer job applications, prefecting, housing applications and summer programs, it is inevitable to escape the harsh slap of rejection. On especially bad weeks, I feel the hits of failure after failure. They come down on me hard, like some sort of rude awakening to our cutthroat world. I was confident that a certain job position I applied for this summer would be a sure win for me. I had spent a good amount of time on the application and the job interview went swimmingly well. But then, I got the dreaded email. The words, “Thank you for your interest, but you were not selected…” seemed to scream out to me, “Rejected!” or “You’re just not good enough!” It is a stab in the chest when you put your heart into these applications, hoping for the best, but in the end, you do not succeed. But is rejection always a bad thing? After all, even though it wounds us at first, it does make us stronger and strive for something even better. But one cannot deny that it’s an infuriating process, putting yourself out there so the only thing you can do is wait for approval, for recognition, for other people to decide your future for you. It’s almost as if you are a single card out of the deck of cards of life. Someone is dealing out these cards to your prospective managers, dean of admission, etc (also to be known as the deciders of our futures). The cards are shuffled and shuffled, and a couple are picked out for them. Then, they take a moment to look at the cards in their hand. You just happened to be picked out from the deck of cards along with several other cards. You’re almost there. From factors of luck, chance, and fate, the deciders of our futures either pick you out from the cards in their hand, or they set you aside, perhaps to be used later if needed. Of course in real life, there are many more factors to the process of being chosen for prospective jobs or colleges other than just luck and chance and of course you, yourself, will always be the true master of your future, but no one ever really knows what goes on inside the head of the person who makes the decisions. No one can really know for sure what happens behind closed doors, and no one really knows if they are going to be chosen or not. Perhaps that’s the scariest part. When you send out your applications, maybe you will get chosen. Maybe, maybe, maybe. It’s all on the maybe, and I despise having to rely on “maybe”. Sometimes I feel like the course of my life is dangling on a precarious string of fate. Its delicate, you can’t ever mess with it. Fate does what it wants to do. When a great opportunity turns up, you grab onto it for dear life. You take a chance, you take a nosedive right in, but then you’re forced to wait to see if that letter or that email will say, “Congratulations!” or “Thank you for your interest but…” After you’ve done all that you can, all that is left to do is let fate do the rest. The most frustrating of things is when after it all, all you can do is sit back and see what life has to throw at you. Karen Morales is a two-year Lower from East Boston, MA.