Why couldn’t the bat turn into a vampire? It was a baseball bat. What’s more unlucky than passing a black cat on Halloween? Contracting AIDS from a black cat on Halloween. What is the worst kind of Jack-o’-lantern? A Jack-o’-lantern with a Hitler moustache. What did the goblin say to the werewolf? “I don’t approve of Obama’s health care plan.” What kind of car does Dracula drive? A 2002 Mercury Sable. How did Frankenstein lose all of his money? The recession. What did the werewolf eat for breakfast? Cherry Pop Tarts. What did the spooky ghost say to scare the little children? “Death panels are going to kill your grandparents!” Why did the zombie go to the bank? To apply for a loan. Why was the mummy itchy? Because he was wrapped in linens for 5,000 years. What did the pumpkin bring on his vacation? Nothing. He’s a pumpkin.