The Eighth Page

Top Ten: Ways To Be More Sustainable

10. Bomb a Gas Station 9. Paresky Commons Hosts “Do Your Best Impression of an Amish Person” Night 8. Replace the Bell Tower with a Giant Lava Lamp 7. The “Slash the Tires on a Hummer and Watch the Jerk Driving It Chase You Around” Challenge 6. Conserve CO2 by calling “Paresky Commons” simply “Parski” 5. Heat “Parski” with a Fire At the End of 7th Period 4. Re-use syringes 3. Harvest Solar Energy from the Phallic Statue 2. Only Flush Once… We Don’t Need It to Get All the Way to Uncommons Anymore 1. Going trayless