My family and I traveled to California for a week this summer. And what do we do when we go to California? Visit Disneyland. Duh. I love Disneyland, even though all of my friends stopped going there six years ago. They’re just jealous that I’ve been to Neverland and they have to grow up to be stupid adults. At Disneyland, we got to park in the special area that’s closer to the entrance for only $20. As we entered the park, the first thing I saw was a parade of classic Disney characters: Mickey Mouse, Goofy, and Cinderella! I knew I had to take a picture with them. My friends would be SO jealous that I got a picture with not one, not two, but THREE Disney characters. Cinderella didn’t want to be in the picture and kind of just ran off, but that’s okay. I didn’t want to take a picture with her—she didn’t look too happy, and I think she smelled like beer. Mickey, on the other hand, was happy to take a picture, and so was Goofy. But Goofy was also acting – well, for lack of a better word – goofy. He kept trying to stroke my hair, and he followed us after we’d already taken the picture. The security guards noticed; they proceeded to tackle Goofy and subsequently taze him. All that running away from Goofy made us hungry, so we went to the Café Mickey for lunch. I ordered a personal pizza for $28, but it wasn’t very good. I didn’t want to insult the nice waitress or Disneyland, so I ate it all, even though it tasted like cardboard with some ketchup slathered on it. It was okay, because right outside the restaurant was a vendor selling some cute barf bags that had characters from Finding Nemo on them for only $6.