B.J. Garry March 9, 2007 History 100 A. Martin Luther • Wrote the 95 Theses in 1998 to protest the production of the movie BASEketball. •Went to the Diet of Worms, where some bro was like “Yo, take back the stuff you said,” and Martin Luther was like, “Nah, dude, I don’t wanna.” So the other dude was like, “Okay, we’ll send you off to this castle so you can pretty much just chill for the rest of your life or whatever.” •Wrote some mad sweet stuff on theology. B. Pope Leo X •Had a killer idea where he sold indulgences, which were pieces of paper that someone could buy and have their sins forgiven and stuff. •Advertised as the “perfect holiday gift.” C. John Calvin • Calvin was sort of chillin’ in Switzerland, making Ricola cough drops or whatever, then he read some of Martin Luther’s stuff and thought it was cool. • Thought that salvation was determined before birth, and that people who were planned to be saved before birth were destined to live holy lives. Calvin called these people “The Elect.” • Today, these people are known as the cast of Seinfeld. D. Henry VIII • Basically was married to this chick (Catherine of Aragon) who couldn’t make a male heir. • Wanted to marry this other chick (Anne Boleyn) so he could totally get it on and have a boy. • But Pope Clement didn’t let him get a divorce. So after a while, Henry was just like “Aight, whatever, I’ll make my own church.” • That’s pretty much it. E. Henry the Navigator • Died a virgin. • Traveled all over the place, invented some pretty sweet stuff for navigating or something. • Died a virgin.
