The Eighth Page

Liberarians For All

Last week, I was asked to write a couple of quick paragraphs about the Male Exeter Libertarian Club to help all of you guys understand the MELC. As the current president, I gladly accepted, feeling my insight and personal experience will provide all of you readers with the best understanding of MELC. Since we only meet about five times a week, a lot of activities are scheduled over the weekend to help extend our bonds as Libertarians and strengthen our friendship as Phillips Exeter Academy scholars. Sure, I could tell you about what we do during our formal meetings, like debate political issues and fundraise for the Badnarik/Campagna ’04 campaign, but you will never believe what really goes on in the MELC. Hey, we’re not known to be the “bad boys” on campus for nothing. Take last weekend for example… We cherish our traditions, including hazing. As a matter of fact, last Friday some of our younger members were rigorously hazed over the course of a few hours. Their torture included doing 20 push-ups, spinning around 10 times, and then drinking two glasses of milk. Except for one participant who is lactose-intolerant, everyone was just fine. Boy, those kids had some stomach aches afterward! Then, later that night, we all snuck out of my house and went to watch a PG-13 movie at the theaters! It was crazy and no one was caught. Normally, you see, we would just “chill” in my basement and watch something like “The Terminator” or other rated R movies, but ever since my mom found my Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson Box Set, she’s had me on a tight leash. So on Saturday there was the weekly school dance, and MELC totally dominated! Every dance we try to “hook-up” other members with girls going to the dance. Saturday we had a record of five dances with girls! Mad props to John Badman ’06 for bringing his sisters. Otherwise we never would have seen such success. I think one of our members might even have gotten a kiss or two! On Sunday we followed our triumphant night with a little prank phone calling. Usually we’ll call our friends or maybe other kids at school, but we decided to take it one step further. We called the Republican Club and told them George W. was stupid and then called the Democrat Club and said Kerry looked funny. It was pretty funny, I’ll tell you that much. The next day the two clubs decided to settle the argument with a debate. Oh yeah… it was ugly. After calling these clubs, some of our members accidentally got out of hand and made some unintentional calls. After pranks to both the school priest and the GSA, we decided to stop and lay low for a little while, if you know what I mean. We finished the weekend with a pretty intense pizza party in the dorm followed by some group homework sessions. Afterward, we passed out the official MELC polo shirt. It is sweet! It’s all blue and I had my mom put some extra starch in it so it snaps when you pop the collar. We put them on for Tuesday’s election, but since we looked like everyone else it was kind of a waste of money. Oh well!