Anthony’s Zany Article

So I know what all of you are thinking: Anthony, what type of zany, nutso article are you gonna’ write THIS week!?!?!? LOLZ, you guys are silly. Well you’re in for a big surprise, cuz this week I’m writing about something that really gets me jumpin’! That’s right, I’m writing about hereditary traits in dust-moths, so strap on your thinking caps and get ready for a learning adventure! JKJKJK!!! So you know what I was thinking the other day? This school is so funny! Like people totally put on these personas and stuff that aren’t real, and then they go back to their rooms and they’re completely different. Like this one kid I heard about said he really liked Metallica and all of his friends did but when he went back to his dorm he would listen to…GUESS WHAT!??!?!?…The Backstreet Boys! People here are totally messed up. I heard about this one kid who didn’t do his homework, so instead of giving it to his teacher, he gave the teacher a cheeseburger and said, “Hey, I didn’t do my homework, but at least you have a cheeseburger, right!?” The teacher was mad at first but then realized it was actually really good and so he gave the kid half credit for doing it, except that the kid who did it was really rich and I’m not that rich and it would cost so much to give your teachers all cheeseburgers every single day. Then I realized that you could save money by making them hamburgers instead of cheeseburgers! I’m just kidding though, I really wouldn’t do that for a whole term. So last night I was walking back to my dorm, and there was this girl who I sort of knew but not really, and I didn’t know whether to stop and talk to her or just keep walking and say what’s up, so there was this awkward pause and then we kept walking! OMG it was so awkward, and the whole time you could tell that she was just like, “get me out of this situation”, but then I was the same way, but it’s okay because I bet the same type of thing has happened to her before and so we’re on the same page. I think another funny thing is that some people always talk about how tired they are, and I’m like, “we’re all tired, dummy!” Sometimes it gets me piping mad, and I wish I could just tell them that they should stop because it makes them look stupid, but I wouldn’t do that because I mean there’s that big debate about whether you insult someone to correct them or leave them be but they’re worse off in the long run! Jeez was that a load off of MY chest! I guess now I’m supposed to give you some sort of really funny conclusion but I am writing this under so much pressure and I can’t think of anything. So instead, I’ll leave you with some wise thoughts: “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog!” Haha guys I’m kidding I didn’t really say that, you’re so G-U-L-L-I-B-L-E!