The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

The Snake Escapes Gelb, Good for Him

Freshman Drops Cup in Upper Right, Vows Never to Return to Commons Again

Knoll Students Caught Selling Paper Towels Made From Illegally Chopped Sanctuary Trees

Commons Announces Controversial Decision to Change Shade of Commons Plates from Blue to Indigo

Pasta Monday Actually Not That Bad Anymore