The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: The Week’s Top Headlines

Student Demonstrates Too Much Interest At College Info Session, Creeps College Out

Student Who Earned Below 50 Percent On Academic Integrity Module to Be Put On Watch List

Annual Campus-Wide Surprise at Change In Season Speculated to Take Place Imminently

Student Who Moved From PKN to WQN Says The Grass IS Greener on the Other Side

Revolution? Revolution. Andover Alumnus Creates Communist-Only Dating App

Lower- and Upperclassmen Alike Still Mastering Art of Spatial Awareness