The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Headlines

All Deans (/diːnz, déenz/) Required to Add A “Hear My Name” to Their Outlook Email Signature 

Lowers Caught at Rabbit Pond Explain Sticky Situation

PAPS Called On Project X BBC Function

BVL Player Reportedly Wined and Dined at Shoyu

Andover Football Finally Released From “Hell on Earth.”

Taylor Swift’s Songwriter Does The Same Thing Over and Over Again