The Eighth Page

Week’s Top Headlines

Andover quarterback set to miss weeks of play because of hangnail on right pinky

After leaving ABC, Jimmy Kimmel joined the Eighth Page where he continues to write high-quality liberal humor

Statistics Students Predict How Many Land Acknowledgements it Will Take to Return Andover to its Rightful Owners (Casinos)

Borden Office Faces Pushback after PG Complains about Getting Paid 32 Cents off the Dollar for Life Guarding Gig 

PAPS immediately offers to cooperate with the feds after being offered free ice cream