“You had breakfast this morning?? Why?”
“What happened to 2026 being the next 2016??”
“I’m trying to contribute a little more to climate change. I have so many more summer outfits to wear.”
“My girlfriend has mono and I don’t… Am I cooked?”
“I’ve been hiding a pig in my room. He doesn’t get out much, but I’m stuck with him as my roommate for a year.”
“No man I’m not Christian, I’m Clav.”
“Hello, Campus Safety…I had another accident in the Sanctuary.”
