The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Andover Bands “Collide” to Create Knollchella; The Sounds Are Beautiful

Pine Knoll Still Has Not Found Cluster Reps

Cult Applications Out and Due Sunday!

Newest Immunity Items Released: Freshmen Must End the Day in a Senior’s Bed

All Seniors Who Spent Friday Crawling on All Fours Devastated to Realize That Assassin Was Never a Thing, Just Something Organized by a Rogue Class Rep With a Camera