J.K. Rowling comes forward and issues a statement: “I wrote the Harry Potter series so that kids from different places could experience magic … that was not one of the intended places.”
Sykes Wellness Center and Borden Athletic Trainers tell Lindsey Vonn that she can not participate in the Olympics: “That bruise on your hand looks realllllly bad…”
1200 students submit midyear reflections, suspiciously claiming their problems were solved by Elon Musk.
GSA and Catholic Student Union conversation ends in 1st Round Knockout
Gavin McKenna’s promising young hockey career cut short; former Eighth Page Editor to fill role
Student attempts to “rawdog” 75-minute class without NYT games
A local groundhog ran over by a student on a driving permit doesn’t see shadow; a shorter winter is expected!
