The people of Andover loved Christmas. Every year, they would join around and sing songs about glee and well-funded public schools, that was until Samuel Phillips came around. Sam started preaching about non sibi, and the students drank on ideas about community. Soon, these “cat boners” decided to donate gifts to the neighboring town, undoing all the work the poor people of Andover had put into redlining. The Andover students brought boba shops and mochi donuts, and made driving around town more difficult while simultaneously driving up housing prices.
And what would the people of Andover do; they had no hot chocolate to drink. Those damn students had filled up the cafes! Whiling away with their essays while the townspeople considered how to end this, once and for all! They discussed how to hit the Andover students where it mattered most, but what did they care about, these unusual teens? Surely it couldn’t be friends or looks?! They’ve got it! There is nothing an Andover student loves more than sixes! And so, a devilish plan was created. The Dean’s team was infiltrated by an outsider, who quickly put forth an idea that would soon make PA students tremble: grade deflation. And so it was that the Christmas spirit returned to the jolly town of Andover, as the PA students stopped going downtown and started studying.
