• Students at Dr. Kington’s Lunches to Serve as Taste Testers to Check if His Food Has Been Poisoned
• Dean of Studies Hires Private Security for the Add-Drop Periodto Guard the Office Arom Angry
Student Mob
• Andover Track Given NEPSAC Title After Finding an Athlete Who Can Jump So High He Doesn’t Hit the Ground for 4 Minutes
• The Phillipian Reporter Accidentally Added to Deans Group Chat Where They Discussed Confidential Plans to Deal with a Student Who “Popped Out at One in the Morning”
• Andover Alum’s Morning Routine Has Been Leaked, With Saratoga Bottled Water Tripling in Price in the Den
