8:00 a.m: I wake up to several missed calls and snaps from my dean begging me to come over later tonight. He says he wants to get to know me better and wants my reflection. I get the ick and I leave him on opened. He gives me a GAP.
8:30 a.m: After my point person snitches on me, I am immediately apprehended by PAPS and taken to Rabbit Pond, where I’m forced to call the head of admissions at *insert dream Ivy League School* and confess “I lack executive functioning and work ethic, as I was unable to submit my Mid year reflection on time.” I am further tasked with planting empty bottles around the pond for the Dean’s annual easter egg hunt.
9:00 a.m: I run into a student from Andover High and he pushes me into the pond, face first.
9:05 a.m: I call PAPS to pick me up, but I’m put on hold.
12:00 p.m: I hang up, dragging myself to the edge of the pond where I see a PAPS officer doing the butterfly stroke.
1:23 p.m: After some serious reflection and deep breaths, I drag my soggy self up through the cemetery. I suddenly slip and fall right on to the grave of Harriet Beecher Stowe. Students passing by call me a bigot and throw snow at me. I am sopping wet at this point.
2:00 p.m: After collecting myself, I return to my dorm and log onto Outlook to get my meeting link. I am brutally confronted by Microsoft verification.
2:16 p.m: After I finally sign and access the link to my GAP meeting held on Roblox and am horrified to see the avatars of the Cell Phone Task Force and Dr. Kington. It was at this moment I knew, this train ain’t got no more track.
2:20 p.m: As the meeting drones on, I debate calling an Uber to help me escape from campus, but I remember to submit a leave request on REACH.
4:00 p.m: Leave request approved! I call my uber and get in.
4:01 p.m: My tummy’s turnin and I’m feelin’ kinda homesick. Then my Uber driver turned on the radio and the Case-oh song was on, and the Case-oh song was on, so I put my hands up!
4:02 p.m: My driver starts cussing me out. We crash into the Pine Knoll cat boner statue. As I try to wave down help on main street, the AHS kids spray me as I have yet to dry off.
4:25 p.m: While I’m laying in the hospital bed, my Dean walks in to inform me I know I risk facing a GAP for my actions in the UBER, “Dancing without room for the blue book” he tells me.
5:00 p.m: Made it back in time for dinner! Today, it was pancakes, waffles, and sausage! Yum!
6:00 p.m: I search for a quiet place to start my Mid-Year Reflection and end up in the baseball dugouts. Whoopsies! It looks like two other people are already here!
