Our fellow Phillipians. As our time as editors of our beloved Eighth Page comes to an end, we find it important to impart a few final words of wisdom to you all. Firstly, we must warn you of the impending oligarchy forming within The Phillipian. The future board will consist almost completely of nepo-boosted rich kids who plan to use our paper for propaganda to push the agenda that grades don’t matter so that their rank boosts high enough for the Ivies to justify taking their parent’s money.
I know what you’re thinking. Two straight, white, men talking about abuse of power? How ironic! What you all fail to realize, however, is that the Greeks have actually been oppressed quite a bit in recent history. The Ottomans? More like the Snottomans. Our presence has allowed us to push the boundaries of what this paper can publish.
Regardless of the inevitable and imminent destruction, our time here has consisted of many ups and downs. From being locked in a closet by our Editor in Chief, to being tortured by our Executive Editor and her minions, each scream and moan has proved worth it in the end. If we could take one thing away from our experience here, it would be that girls are mean and scary.
