The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Exonian Week’s Top Headlines

Exeter to Mandate Semitic Education Classes in Light of Alumni Actions 

“A Siberian Film” Voted Exeter’s #1 Film of All Time

“We Will Crush Andover!” Yell Exeter Football Team Following Series of Traumatic Brain Damage Incidents

Exeter Student Dragged 50 Feet Along Asphalt After Being Struck by Car; Deemed Most Attractive Person on Campus

Cumblood Darkwing to Teach New Class on the Importance of Tensile Rope Strength

Student-run alternative rock band known as the “Fu Fighters” makes its debut on Exeter campus

Student suspended after advocating for an “All Duncan Robinson” Basketball Team Roster.