Dearest Minions,
As the WNBA finals are coming to a close, the best of 2024 is ending. It
is time to look forward to 2025. I plan to use this last year at Andover
to uphold the Blue Book in every way I can, in order to please my great
King(ton). Below, I outline the plans for our year as members of the
Democratic only accepted Party at Andover, as we have survived the club
fair purge:
1. Removing athletics from Andover.
A PG called me fat.
2. Required Service in the Cell Phone Task Force.
For the greater good. TikTok is a plague that infects us all and we must rid
Andover of any distractions.
Will increase ability to focus on the majestic words and features of Dr.
Kington
3. Add testosterone to the water fountains in Commons.
Will happen with or without approval
4. An addition of a Dean worship space in the Chapel.
It is my religion and they can’t deny it
5. Punish academic integrity violations with death.
Flagpole becomes Guillotine
Any further additions can be emailed to me and I will bring them up with
our faculty advisor before the club continues to meet. Ideas will be brought
to the board of trustees at the end of the year and they will likely be put in
effect (They owe me a favor).
See you later alligators,
Debra Drummond ’25
