The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Group of Seven Freshmen Boys Subdued and Detained in the Gelb Bathroom After Attempting to Build IEDs Out of Commons Chicken Pot Pie.

 

Board of Trustees Slams Kington for Not Leveraging Certain Disciplinary Actions as Investment Opportunities. 

 

Charles Vest Petitions For New Dog Walking Sport Where Students Sign Up to Be Walked.

 

New Affinity Group Made for All Who Could Not Post for National Boyfriend Day

 

Top 10 Bathing Suits to Wear to Beach – Themed Senior Night