In the blink of an eye, the summer was over and I was back in Nathan Hale, my room packed to the brim with my luggage. There were a few changes. For starters, I was in a three-room double (an upgrade from the one-room double I had last year) and now had my own bedroom. I was also donning new headphones and a cool bag that I bought over the summer. But the biggest difference was how at home I felt standing in my room, staring at the green mattress and wooden drawers occupying the space. It was a considerable transformation from the year before when I was crying in that same building about how homesick I felt. At the time, it seemed as if that loneliness would never leave me. I thought that this year, it would be no different. But things were different. As soon as I saw my friends’ faces and laid eyes on the familiar trees of Pine Knoll, I realized that instead of emptiness, I felt a sense of belonging and community. I felt like I was back home. So to help you make Andover your second home, I have compiled a few tips from my previous experiences: be yourself, be open-minded, and be relaxed.
Tip 1: Be Yourself. It’s no secret that there is a tendency for teenagers to want to appear ‘cool’ when interacting with their peers. However, part of constructing this facade means hiding certain parts of themselves that they think do not fit with the reputation they hope to create. Genuine relationships are formed through an emotional intimacy that can only be developed through a deep understanding of one another, a feat that cannot be accomplished if either party is pretending to be someone they are not. Additionally, being yourself can help foster confidence and self-assurance. By constantly presenting your ‘true self’ to others, you will be able to meet people who like and accept you despite the qualities you think you should hide. As terrifying as it might sound as you get to know more and more people throughout the year, be yourself.
Tip 2: Be open-minded. One of Andover’s greatest qualities is the diverse community that it exposes its students to. While it may seem intimidating at first, this diversity is what nurtures the thriving community at Andover. From differences also come new perspectives, and by meeting people with novel experiences, one can open their eyes to parts of the world they wouldn’t have been able to otherwise. Additionally, amidst the differences, one might be able to find commonalities. As much as culture and background play an important role in shaping who someone is, relationships are fostered through shared hobbies and interests. Thus, by opening yourself up to more types of people, you will have a greater chance of meeting people who you actually ‘click’ with. So, instead of focusing on the superficial elements, try to be open to everyone and you might be pleasantly surprised how many meaningful friendships you will make.
Tip 3: Be relaxed. When trying to make friends, there will always be a hint of anxiety that comes with ambiguity. It is normal to obsess over how a conversation or interaction might turn out; will this become a friendship? Is this conversation a one-time thing? However, by being preoccupied with labeling your relationship before even knowing the person, you might be unintentionally causing unfruitful results. So, instead of approaching people with the intent to make them your friend, try to just let the interaction flow. If it doesn’t work out, then try again with another person. Friendships at their core are just connections and are also inevitably not entirely in our control, so just relax and enjoy the process!
Even after reading this, you may still feel lost. It took me a whole year to get comfortable with practicing these tips myself. However, go at it one step at a time and I promise that one day, you will find yourself surrounded by a community that loves and supports you — I know I did.
