I want to be a Blue Key Head, but I’m really nervous about applying. Can I have some advice?
Not to fear, the Eighth Page is here! Being a Blue Key Head is one of the most unrelenting positions on campus. Whether it’s chanting about meat in front of hundreds of Exonians or twerking in front of the entire Andover student body during tryouts, the only thing you can constantly expect is utter humiliation. It’s also best not to be too attached to your name. For the rest of your time at Andover, you’ll be known as something along the lines of “the Blue Key Head that looks like Baymax from Big Hero 6” or “the Blue Key Head with no lips.” Remember, as a Blue Key Head you will be one of the most popular and looked-up to kids on campus and must wield your power wisely. I know a mob of adoring devotees may sound nice, but the constant pounding at your window may make it hard to sleep. Another trait any Blue Key Head needs is to be comfortable in their own body. As you are well, well aware, those skirts leave little to the imagination and, as you ARE required to be commando, it gets a tad drifty around the patty cakes. As such, I recommend hitting the squat rack so as to maximize both comfort and aesthetic value. At the end of the day, if you are stupid enough to apply for Blue Key Head, the best advice we can give you is to be yourself… We’re sure it’ll be enough.
