Deans Fail to Address Important Issues at Weekly Meeting and Instead Discuss Students Shirtless at Beach
All-School Meeting Speaker Angie Thomas Lowered the Amount of Sleeping Students From 43 Percent to 11 Percent, a New Record!
Ongoing Investigation as Snowball Fights Become Lethal, Leaving Four Dead and Seventeen Injured
The Phillipian UM Application Surpasses Both the Blue Book and Bible in Length
Upperclassmen Dance Infiltrated by Multiple Faculty Kids on Saturday
Andover Diving Under Fire for Boys Stealing Each Other’s Speedos
Kington Pays Off Other Culinary Cook-Off Chefs so Andover Wins
Look Out For Our Very Own Charles Vest as He Plays The Knight, The Mad Hatter, and a Wedding Choir Member in Andover’s Upcoming Production of Shrek
Physics 553 Mortality Rate Up 30 Percent, Student Body Both Shocked and Magnetized
Andover Student Makes History After Being the First Person Ever to Annotate their English Reading
