Five Stars
“The Da Vinci Code” is the most ingenious book of the century and arguably the most influential piece of literature since the Bible. Its complex and nuanced plot is not for the feebleminded, and its daring message has challenged society as we know it. For centuries people have fought over interpretations of Jesus’ life and mission, dedicating their lives in search of religious truths. From the Crusades to colonization to Tom Cruise becoming a scientologist, humankind has endured long and brutal times in the name of Jesus. Yet on March 18, 2003, Dan Brown ’82 put all these divisive conflicts to rest. In just 489 pages, he enlightened the world with the truth about Jesus’ life through a telling murder mystery beginning one fateful night at the Paris Louvre’s equivalent of Exeter’s Lamont Gallery. If only the billions of Christians before Brown’s masterpiece had known the truth — that Jesus knocked up a hooker named Mary — the world would most definitely be at peace.
In the months after “The Da Vinci Code” flooded the world with its eternal truths, the monks descended from their monasteries, the nuns hit the streets and broke their vows of chastity, and the Pope stepped down so that Brown could shine. Side tings across the world rejoiced after learning about Jesus’ baby mama and American politicians felt more at ease hiring prostitutes knowing Jesus married one. And perhaps most important of all, all religious conflict ceased immediately. Any critics who claimed “The Da Vinci Code” was not revelatory and groundbreaking are simply too dim to understand the breadth of Brown’s knowledge and global impact. Every night I thank the universe for blessing us with Dan Brown ’82 and his unparalleled knowledge. If everyone were as sophisticated and intelligent, the world would be a better place. I would like to finish with a quote from the book’s handsome and worldly protagonist, Robert Langdon: “My French stinks…but my zodiac iconography is pretty good.”
