“This candidate listed ‘munching box’ as his #1 Common App activity. Full ride for this stud.”
“Sure, I guess we could use a bit of spice.”
“Starting on JV Lacrosse is no easy endeavor. It demonstrates grit, integrity, and commitment.”
“You say nepotism, I say strategic investment.”
“This guy’s pretty ferda… we like that.”
“But can he row?”
“Nah, he’s too smart. We don’t want no nerds here.”“Absolute slayer over here. Get him in.”
“Good heavens, she’s hot.”
“Holy cow this guy’s nice at Clash of Clans.”
“Haha he got a 4 in music last spring. Probably mobbed the lawn a bit too much. So chill…”
“I feel like this is the type of applicant you can have a beer with.”
“He’s definitely gonna get one of our frats suspended.”
“Why is her only extracurricular an OnlyFans link?”
