John Obedience
Dean of Knowledge and Goodness at Phillips Academy
I am humbled and blessed to have caught my 100th student this past week. I couldn’t have done it without the support of my Deans team, my flexibility, and my trusty nose. As I like to say, I can smell Blue Book violations a mile away.
Elizabeth Warren once said, “The only thing worse than a thriving economy is a drunk teenager.” This past weekend, I took this quote literally. In the fetal position beneath a booth in The Den, I was one with The Den floor.
My recon began at 3 p.m. To get fired up, I had watched hours of Jordan Klepper compilations. Furious at the state of our twisted world, I was ready to make an impact.
At 9 p.m., I caught a wonderful whiff of bad decision-making. Surely enough, these troubled students were indulging in a dangerous mixture of Gatorade and what could only be moonshine. When I heard these students complaining about All-School Meeting, I knew they were intoxicated.
Of course, I made my presence known. I’d rather not go into heavy detail, but my mission was a great success. Each addict at the table has been put on a rigorous GAP. That’ll show ‘em.
If I could have told my 16-year-old self the man I’ve become, he would have probably called me the p-word. Fortunately, my 34-year-old self is very proud. I am honored and excited for another opportunity to save troubled kids.
