“Nah, I’m busy. JV3 is playing today! Gotta make sure I get a good seat!”
“I hope no one throws up on me again at the Halloween dance”
“The only girl I’m talking to is my mother.”
“The Lawn is what you make of it.”
“I feel like Lewis and Clark navigating the pizza line.”
“How am I supposed to get affirmative consent if she’s drunk?”
“I think I’m the first Math 650 student to ever lose their virginity.”
“I’m not horny, just lonely. And horny.”
“How does this sound for the first lines of my personal statement? ‘It’s been three years, seven months and 23 days since the world lost the Woo. With every passing hour, my depression gets worse.’”
“I don’t remember signing up for the Students Against Xenophobia Club.”
“I think some 21-year-olds were on the Lawn last night!”
“Wait, your dad can’t just give you a job.”
