The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“I need to start posting for more ferda stuff on my Snap story.”
“I don’t want to lift because then I’ll get big and then I can’t get dominated.”
“I like watching people labor away in Silent, it’s like a sweatshop in there.”
“How can you call me racist when my fantasy team is incredibly diverse?”
“Dude if you don’t stop I’m telling the fricking prefect.”
“I’m gonna quit when Freezer Tarps has a health scare.”
“Don’t judge him. He’s kinematically challenged.”
“Um, actually, I’m pretty sure you can’t gamble at school.”
“Yeah, I’m a varsity diver. Nah I’m serious bro it counts I promise I can literally show you.”
“Y’all wanna hit this bubblegum I found on the Great Lawn?”