Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“This climate change thing might be real.”
“I switched to Instagram Reels to further develop my political views.”
“We are really funding a war between gas stations.”
“The Germans are just an Andrew Tate away from restoring their nation to its former glory.”
“You’ve been talking about the same traumatic event for years. You’re washed up.”
“According to Sway I basically live with a concussion.”
“I’ve seen the local vape shop kid grow up.”
“You know you’ve made it when climate activists pull up to your golf club.”
“Once I get into college I’m gonna stop brushing my teeth.”
“I used to take Adderall to do homework. Now I do homework to take Adderall.”
“Dude, I’m German. I know better than y’all that third time’s not the charm.”