The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Week’s Top Headlines

Deans Team Research Finds that GIFs in Dean Esty’s Friday Memos Increase Student Happiness by One Million Percent

In Light Of Mental Health Awareness Month, Deans Remedy Campus Depression By Reminding Students to be Nice to Each Other

Eighth Page Significantly Less Funny After @PhillipsAcademy Instagram Reel Says to Take Humor Seriously

Experts Predict All CO2 to Leave the Atmosphere if Andover has Earth Day On

Spanish Curriculum Threatens to Put Gender Studies Courses Out of Business

Eighth Page Staff Holds Protest Outside Newsroom Before Realizing No One in The Phillipian Gets Paid

Study Shows College Counseling Only Stressful for Stupid Losers