The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Leaked Manifesto of Eco-Leader’s Twisted Plot to End Barn Babies

Andover, MA — The world breathes a sigh of relief as one Andover student’s plans of eco-terrorism have been foiled. Thanks to elite investigative journalism by the 8th Page, suspect Pete O’Greenpeace was identified and apprehended this morning by PACS’ Special Operations Unit. A manifesto was found under O’Greenpeace’s bed illustrating his plans to free Barn Babies and destroy the free world. The student is an eco-leader and a frequent face in PASC meetings. 


The 8th Page has compiled several key excerpts from O’Greenpeace’s writings.


O’Greenpeace is expected to plead insanity.