The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Overheard on The Paths

“I rose to the top of the intramural tennis ranks faster than Jesus rose from the dead.”
“Hypothetically, what would happen if I lost a faculty dog during recreational dog walking?”
“I’ve started using ‘Succession’ as a guide book for my future.”
“Her presence is pretty empowering.”
“The land acknowledgment really made up for all that genocide.”
“Go back to Abbot.”
“I’m with Kid Rock.”
“It’s like if a bar in Portland flew a Trump flag.”
“Dr. Kington is the best!” (anonymous submission)