The Eighth Page

Phillipian Satire: Some Andover Themed Pick-Up Lines to Improve Your Rizz

“Do you go to Phillips because I can fill you up.”

“Are you in Rockwell because you rock my world.”

“Are you a birdwatcher? Because we should totally check out the sanctuary one time.”

“Hey baby, are you my bio teacher? Because I bet you’re gonna screw me this week.”

“I hope your standards are as low as my GPA”

“My love for you is like my Doordash spending habits. Uncontrollable.”

“Your eyes are like the Pan Center pool, I could swim in them all-day.”

“If you were a Commons meal, you definitely wouldn’t be Salisbury steak.”

“If being sexy was a GAP, you would be a level three.”

“Are we in the Addison? Because you’re a piece of art.”

“Are you a den moshpit? Because I want to get sweaty with you.”

“Are you the zamboni? Because you’re backing that thing up!”